We are all get poorly-written emails that take too long to read, and it’s not clear what the sender is asking for. Unfortunately, we also write a lot of these poor emails. These emails may get ignored or misunderstood or the receiver may not respond quickly.
Well, there are some very easy fixes that will have a huge improvement fast, which I learned in the excellent book “McGraw-Hill 36 Hour Course in Business Writing & Communication”. These tips have already improved my emails enormously.
Consider this typical email
Subject: AEP promo
Hey Keith – I was just in a meeting with Roger Krebs and we’re planning some focus groups to get feedback to our promo idea. Roger told me your team had conducted some focus groups in the past and I should check with you for your research findings, to make sure we aren’t asking questions we already know the answers to. Do you have the final reports online somewhere? Can you send me the link?
Thanks,
Steve
Okay, so this isn’t a horrible email. But it can be improved with three quick repairs.
1. Start the conversation in the Subject line
Tell your reader what you want in your subject line. Don’t offer a vague “AEP promo” or “Focus group link”, or (heaven forbid) just forward an old thread with the completely irrelevant subject line “FW: FY09 Gateway promo ideas”. When your reader sees the subject line, they should immediately know what you want them to do. This is also a good practice for you, because it will help you focus on the point of your email, and keep you from rambling or adding unnecessary information.
Eg. Subject: Send links to your focus group report
Ideally, your inbox would look like a task list, with each email subject line reminding you of something you need to do. By turning our subject lines into tasks, you accomplish this for your reader.
2. Move your request to the front line.
One of the problems with email is we present information in the wrong order. In this email, Steve is telling Keith that he was in a meeting, and someone mentioned his research and now he’s asking for a link to that research. This is how Steve organizes his thoughts because this is the order he remembers things. He writes in chronological order.
But poor Keith! He’s reading the first line and thinking “who is Roger Krebs, and what does this have to do with me?”. Keith needs to read through the entire email to get to the request, and then he probably needs to read the email a second time to put everything back into context.
Try this. Make your request the first line of the email. Then create additional paragraphs for the background information.
Hey Keith – Can you send me the links to the focus groups your team conducted last year?
I was just in a meeting with Roger Krebs and we’re planning some focus groups to get feedback to our promo idea. Roger told me your team had conducted some focus groups in the past and I should check with you for your research findings, to make sure we aren’t asking questions we already know the answers to.
Thanks,
Steve
It’s not always appropriate to lead with your request. If you expect the reader to be resistant, you may need to be indirect. But for many common communications, we can safely lead with our request.
3. Move important words to the front
Okay, the email is looking better already. But it can still be improved by casting our sentences so the important words come at the BEGINNING of the sentence, and not at the end.
Consider the opening sentence “Can you send me the links to the focus groups your team conducted last year?” What is the most important word or phrase in this sentence? Maybe you decide it’s “focus groups”. Right now, “focus groups” are the ninth and tenth words in the opening sentence. This isn’t too bad, but can you move them closer to the front of the sentence?
Hey Keith – Can you send the focus group reports from the research your team conducted last year?
Now we’ve moved “focus group” to the fifth and sixth words in the sentence and we’ve made this a stronger sentence where the reader can focus on what we’re asking for almost immediately. Here’s our improved email.
Subject: Send links to your focus group report
Hey Keith – Can you send the focus group reports from the research your team conducted last year?
I was just in a meeting with Roger Krebs and we’re planning some focus groups to get feedback to our promo idea. Roger told me your team had conducted some focus groups in the past and I should check with you for your research findings, to make sure we aren’t asking questions we already know the answers to.
Thanks,
Steve
Summary
These three quick email fixes will make your email easier to read and easier to respond to. It will also help you focus on writing faster, by by following a format to organize your thoughts instead of struggling to communicate. Give it a try, then leave me a comment letting me know how it works for you.
Posted by brucegab 
